The Gaul(ey) of it all

This past weekend I went up to West Virginia with a group of people from work. It wasn't a work function, just a group of us that get along and wanted to do some rafting. We drove up on Saturday and camped at a campground near our rafting company. It was an enjoyable night just to hang out with everyone, cookout, have some drinks and just have fun around the campfire. We had to be at the rafting company by 8 the next morning so we didn't sleep in (much to the chagrin of those who had too much to drink the night before).

The reason we decided to go to West Virginia for rafting is that last weekend was part of what is known as "Gauley Season". What that means is that there is a dam at the top of the run and the Army Corp of Engineers increases the flow of the river for Labor Day weekend and the five weekends after that. The extra release helps to create some of the best rapids on the east coast. The stretch of the river we did was the Upper Gauley which contains five Class V rapids. To our surprise, no one from our group of twelve (two boats of 6) ever fell overboard. We ended up pulling a few people out of the river from other boats that did capsize.

To describe the rapids is tough. Time through the five Class V rapids seemed to both fly and stall at the same time. What I do know, is that it was an amazing time. One of the craziest things I did was on the last set of rapids for the day. Our guide (who was great, maybe another blog post just to dissect his performance) described the last set of rapids as a high Class III or maybe a Class IV. Anyway, what I did was sit at the bow of the boat, kind of leaning over it. This allowed me to really see every hit we were about to take and to take a bunch of waves to the face. The biggest wave crashed over me, so much so that I was completely under water. What a great way to end the day.

I plan on returning next fall for another run.

Random Dream

A little background first. As most of you know, I travel a lot for my job and some people joke with me that my employer is just a cover and that I'm really a spy. Well, that finally made it into a dream last night. I'm not exactly sure if I was really a spy or if the firm had started a hit squad. Either way, I was training in the woods with some other people for a mission where we were going to take someone out.

Questioning Myself

Recently I have been spending a lot of time in my head and trying to determine the motivations for what I do.  It's tough to discern the true motivation for anything I do.  Where I get screwed up mentally is when I think I am doing something that seems like it would be what God would want me to do but at the same time I can see some selfish motivation behind it.  Am I really doing those things for God or is it for me?  I have recently started to struggle with an even worse possibility.  What if I am so self-centered that my thinking it is pleasing to God is simply me deluding myself into that belief?  I don't really see this as a crisis of faith so much as a crisis in discernment.  Have I drifted in my faith so much that I can no longer discern the proper path and desires?